How to Improve Emotional Intelligence at Work
A Guide to Building Stronger Professional Relationships
The lockdowns didn’t create an emotional intelligence crisis, they highlighted one that was already there but we were to distracted to acknowledge.
"LinkedIn's 2023 Workplace Learning Report reveals that 89% of L&D leaders say developing employees' emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills is more important than ever before in the post-pandemic workplace."
The ability to recognise and navigate emotions - both our own and others' - has never been more crucial. Emotional intelligence, EI and EQ, aren’t just buzzwords; it’s the key to a happier, more prosperous and sustainable life, in and out of work.
The Evolution of Workplace Emotions
The traditional workplace model treated emotions as irrelevant or even disruptive to productivity. "Leave your feelings at the door" was a common mantra that reflected a deeper misunderstanding of human nature. Today's research shows that acknowledging and skillfully managing emotions enhances decision-making, team collaboration, and leadership effectiveness.
As remote and hybrid work environments become increasingly common, the ability to read, understand, and respond to emotional cues has become even more vital. Digital communication can mask important emotional signals, making emotional intelligence an essential skill for bridging the virtual divide.
The Four Pillars of Workplace Emotional Intelligence
Building emotional intelligence at work requires developing four interconnected capabilities:
Self-Awareness: The Foundation
Understanding your emotional triggers, reactions, and patterns is where emotional intelligence begins. It requires the courage to look honestly at how you respond to stress, conflict, and challenges. Do you withdraw when criticised? Do you become defensive when questioned? Do you head for the fridge when you get a stressful email? Recognising these patterns is the first step to managing them effectively.
Self-Management: The Bridge
Once you're aware of your emotional patterns, developing the ability to regulate them becomes crucial. This isn't about suppressing emotions but rather choosing how to express them constructively. It means pausing between trigger and response, choosing words carefully during heated moments, and taking complete responsibility for your life.
Social Awareness: The Connector
Understanding others' emotions, unstated needs, and organisational dynamics is the third
crucial element. This requires developing genuine curiosity about others' perspectives and practicing active listening - not just hearing words but understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. It lies in what is not being said as much as what is not. Intuition isn’t a mystic quality some of us are born with, it is a skill you can learn to cultivate, enhancing your ability to connect, be on the front foot and thrive.
Relationship Management: The Culmination
We can only be truly effective as managers and leaders once we have developed a deep understanding, compassion and development of our own growth. Once established, your awareness and management skills to build and maintain strong professional relationships increase significantly. This means addressing conflicts constructively, giving and receiving
feedback effectively, and creating an environment where others feel understood and valued. Five Practical Steps to Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence
1. Develop Your Emotional Vocabulary: Move beyond basic "happy," "sad," or "angry" to more nuanced descriptions of your emotional states. This precision helps in both understanding and communicating feelings more effectively. Ask yourself ‘How do I feel right now? And do not reply with ‘I think’!
2. Seek Regular Feedback: Listen to the positive with as much attention as you do the constructive. Having an external professional perspective can help you can assimilate what is useful and how to integrate it.
3. Study People: Observe how successful colleagues navigate emotional situations. What can their approaches teach you about effective emotional intelligence in your workplace?
4. Keep an Emotion Journal: Daily journaling, or voice notes whilst walking, can effectively clear mind clutter and help you reflect on what is clogging up your mental space. Definitely document challenging workplace interactions, your emotional responses, and alternative ways you could have handled the situation. A daily practice will minimise the likelihood of these happening in the instance as you create regular space to offload the daily stresses.
5. Get comfortable being uncomfortable: today’s lifestyle is designed to make us as comfortable as possible, from ordering food to the trainers we wear. Practices like Yoga, exercise, learning a new skill, cold exposure, and the like are brilliant ways to learn to be comfortable in discomfort. The benefits move beyond the physical to deepening our capacity to feel and expand our resilience.
The Impact of Enhanced Emotional Intelligence
When you develop your emotional intelligence, the benefits ripple outward. Teams become more cohesive, conflicts resolve more smoothly, and innovation thrives in the psychological safety that emotionally intelligent leaders create. Most importantly, you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and others, leading to more meaningful and satisfying relationships.
Remember, enhancing emotional intelligence is not a destination but a journey. It requires patience, practice, and compassion - both for yourself and others. The investment in
developing these skills pays dividends not just in your professional life but in all your relationships.
The Question of Legacy
As you develop your emotional intelligence, consider: What impact do you want on your colleagues and workplace? How can your enhanced emotional awareness create a more human-centered work environment?
The workplace continues to evolve, but one truth remains constant: our success depends not just on what we know, but on how well we understand and connect with others. Emotional intelligence is the key that unlocks this potential.
Are you ready to take the next step in your emotional intelligence journey? Consider how developing these skills could transform your professional relationships and workplace effectiveness. The journey begins with a single step - usually, the courage to look within.
Next Steps:
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